May 19, 2007:

Many people believe that support is something that you give to someone you feel sorry for or that it means propping up someone who would fail unless you were there to give him a boost. But that's not the way I see it. Support is the boost you can give someone who can help himself but who needs a partner to open a window or push aside a roadblock.
~ Dave Thomas

I can't believe I cannot find time to write a stupid blog entry. I've had things to write about but man - I just haven't found the time. I suppose I just need to force myself to make the time ...

Most of the week, nothing happened besides finding out my ex coworker's children died in the car wreck. I just worked a lot ... but have made the decision NOT to bring work home at night or work on the weekends unless absolutely necessary. I think working too much is making me cranky. We'll see how long I can stick to my guns...

Thursday night I blew off grant writing class and went to see "Cats" at the San Jose Children's Musical Theater. All I can say is holy crap. Most of these kids are 16-20 and have so much freaking talent, I'm just in awe. God - I wish I had that kind of talent and courage to do what they do. I mean - come on - a 16 year old guy having the balls to go out in front of an audience in a leotard? Wow.

"Cats" has been something I always wanted to see. Well - I'd like to see anything that was on Broadway because I really do love musicals, plays and stand up. It's just finding the money and the time!! But recently, I've decided screw it - I'm going to make the time and I did.

"Memory" always tears me up but the 17 year old girl, Fallon Nunes, who played "Grizzabella" and sang "Memory" was AMAZING. Her voice was so powerful and simply perfect ... who would think that a 17 year old could have that much talent already?!!  I hope she gets the opportunity to grow and follow her dreams, should it be in theater - I hope that for all the kids for that matter. Erin Garcia played "Sillabub" and is only 15 but her voice was perfect too. In her little blurb in the program, she hopes to attend the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in NY ... if I had the money, I'd pay for her way.

Joey Dipple, who played "The Rum Tum Tugger" was adorable. He walked out on stage and strutted his stuff like he'd been doing it his whole life. And he's only 16. Two very charismatic cats were Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer - played by Taggart Frost and Kate Kumada, who's only 19. I have to confess that Rumpleteazer was my favorite ... I think she really is a cat. Another pair of cats, "Demeter" played by Cynthia Pariente and "Bumbalurina" played by "Mimi Robinson" were great too.

Kelly Black, who played Mr. Mistoffelees was AWESOME. She can dance and sing and she seriously stole the show at the end. She was one of the older performers at the mere age of 20 ... but man, I hope she goes far. Julliard come steal her away from SJSU!!

The whole cast was amazing ... and it just reminded me how much I loved going to musicals. The last one I saw was "The King and I" and I cried like a fucking baby. It just floors me how talented these kids are ....

So all of that got me to thinking about life in general and what I'm doing with it. You know how you become complacent? Where you don't really grow anymore because you're comfortable? I think I started to get a little complacent...

My dream of all dreams is to write. Short stories, collaborations, screenplays, books - all of it. I want to move people like I have been moved by works of art. Watching that show also made me long for sewing again ... sewing costumes and seeing people wear them. I guess the creation bug has bitten me and now I'm jonesing to fulfill it.

If you put a goldfish into a tank, it grows to whatever size the tank can accommodate. If the tank is small, the goldfish will be small. If it's huge .. well, it'll grow to be huge. I want to be huge. I don't want to be famous ... I just want to be huge!! (And not in the weight sense either)

There is so much I want to do with my life that sometimes I'm not sure where to start. But doing just one little thing is better than nothing right?

So that brings us to this weekend... Friday night there was a hockey game but I didn't go. After I left work, I came home and started messing around with my room. I have a ton of things I want to do to the basement - organizing the cards, painting, purging crap and basically eliminating the stuff out of my life I don't need. I kinda got caught up in that... and voila - it was late.

Today, I went to the theater again but this time caught "Rabbit Hole." What an amazing play. Sad but amazing.

Basically, it's the story of a family trying to recover after the death of their son. The playwright wrote a great little blurb in the beginning talking about how he didn't expect to win the Pulitzer and then this one little sentence that struck so much truth to me about writing. One of his professors said to write about what you fear the most - and this play was about his biggest fear as a new father - losing your child.

So I'm going to take that and chew on it. What are my fears? What is everyone's fear? And how can I write something to touch someone out there - to let them know they aren't alone in their fears.

Ok - Zach Braff's on SNL. Time to catch him - he's my new crush.

Oh... and the Sabres lost - no trips to Florida. And since the Sharks are out... no trips to San Jose either. But I'm coming to Florida anyways this fall - I'm catching a Lightning and Panthers game when 2007-2008 season starts. Another one of my goals - I'm going to catch a hockey game at every hockey arena in Northern California.

Ready for me Florida? ;)