June 2, 2007:Tomorrow there will be an entry ... but for today?
What Are The Ten Most Popular Books of All Time?
Thank you, Mr. Gutenberg. No, not Steve Guttenberg (though we're
grateful for him too), we're talking about Johann Gutenberg. Because of
his little invention called the "printing press," he brought literacy
to the masses and enabled people to read quality literature such as Men
Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. So proud are we of the Gutenberg
press, that we've compiled a list of the top-selling books of all time.
But only the English-language books, because we're blatantly xenophobic.Keep
in mind that these figures are difficult to confirm and are often based
on the aggregate sales of an annual edition. There is no single work of
Shakespeare
here, for instance, because it's impossible to verify any play that
might have sold over 28 million copies on its own. But looking at the
rest of this list, it doesn't seem like he had much of a chance . . .10. In His Steps: "What Would Jesus Do?"Author: Rev. Charles Monroe SheldonCopies sold: 28,500,000The compilation of two original novels
about living a "deeper discipleship," this book about Christianity has
been on the shelves for years (over 100, to be exact). It makes
frequent reference to a book you'll see later
(much later) on our list, and how to better interpret it and so forth.
The questions, "What would Jesus do about global warming?" and, "What
would Jesus do about those Mentos ads?" are not covered in the book,
but just ask yourself . . . what would He do?9. Valley of the DollsAuthor: Jacqueline SusannCopies sold: 30,000,000When
it debuted in 1966, this novel shocked (and titillated) audiences with
its depictions of sex, drugs, and go-go culture, but would now probably
be considered quaint, or at least tame. Susann knew whereof she wrote,
having lived the life of a Broadway starlet and hobnobbing with the
famous. The three characters in the book are rumored to be based on
Judy Garland, Ethel Merman, and Marilyn Monroe at an early point in their careers. Yes, it's trashy, but like junk food, oh, so delicious.8. The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child CareAuthor: Dr. Benjamin SpockCopies sold: 39,200,000How
many copies of this book have been sold to erstwhile Trekkers,
wandering the aisles at Barnes and Noble with slightly glazed looks in
their eyes, mumbling Klingon phonics under their breaths? Let us be
clear. This is not a book about Vulcans, Vulcan culture, Vulcan
language, or Vulcan babies. Well, maybe the Vulcan babies
part applies. Dr. Spock's "instruction manual" for child care has been
flying off shelves since 1946, giving parents useful advice such as
what milestones infants should reach at which ages, how to discipline
an obnoxious child, and why dirty diapers smell so bad.7. World AlmanacAuthor: Who knows?Copies sold: 40,000,000This
is not your Farmers' Almanac here. You will not be able to tell the
weather from a variety of on-target predictions. Uh-uh. Ever since
1886, this book has provided tons of facts, collected together and
organized for quick and easy reference. Yep, facts. Lots of them.
Nothing but facts. Let's move on.
6. A Message to GarciaAuthor: Elbert HubbardCopies sold: 40-50,000,000This
book started out as an essay written all in one night in 1898 by
Hubbard, who had a magazine to get out the next day and needed the
material. It tells the story of a soldier who is given the task of
bringing a message to (guess who?) Garcia, an insurgent leader deep behind enemy lines.
But at the same time, it doesn't tell this story, but rather uses it as
a launching pad for its diatribe against lazy workers and how best to
serve corporate America. Managers loved it and printed thousands of
copies for distribution to their staff as a motivational tool. One can
only imagine the number of proto-Dilbert cartoons this must have
spawned.We must feel some pity for the author, however, as it
must have been traumatic growing up with his mother always going to the
cupboard, worrying more about the dog's needs than those of her only
son. And Elbert's own son, L. Ron, spawned the whole Scientology cult.
Scary stuff.5. The McGuffey ReadersAuthor: William Holmes McGuffeyCopies sold: 60,000,000The
McGuffey Readers have been referred to as "the most influential books
in the history of American education." In the nineteenth century, these
readers were supposed to teach kids reading skills, but taught more
about middle class values and McGuffey's ideas about the social order.
Originally published in 1879 in six volumes, they were at first a
requirement, and later a curiosity for educators across the country.
Take that, Dick and Jane.4. The Guinness Book of RecordsAuthor: Who knows?Copies sold: 81,000,000You
don't attract charming people with characteristics like "the world's
longest fingernails" or "the world's heaviest ball of earwax" unless
you're a freak yourself. The fact that this book started out as a
collection of barroom boasts and bets (and is published by a beer
company) doesn't hurt. Without disgusting pictures, though, would it
have been as popular? We think not.3. American Spelling BookAuthor: Noah WebsterCopies sold: 100,000,000Here's
another oldie. Around sinse 1803, the aptly titled American Spelling
Book teeches people to spell. The guy who proceded to write the famous
Webster's Dicshunary started out just with the speling, and then mooved
on to what the words ment. The styel may be a little wooden, but the
plot development is griping. Two big thums up.2. Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tungAuthor: Mao Tse-tungCopies sold: 800,000,000Formerly
known as The Red Book, these are quotations from the Chairman himself,
and the foundation of today's Communist society in China. We say, read
and enjoy, but do not let yourself be lulled into a love of Communism.
The danger that lurks there is far worse than even secular humanism.
Joe McCarthy knew that.1. The BibleAuthor: GodCopies sold: 6,000,000,000OK,
maybe not 6 billion, but a WHOLE lot. The Bible was clearly a
page-turner from the start, and it benefited from good word of mouth
publicity, flying off the shelves. The basic plot is that there's this
omnipotent deity who creates a planet and some beings to inhabit it.
These beings screw everything up, He washes them out with a flood, and
then they come back and screw everything up again. As a character, He's
a little bit inconsistent; He's a vengeful Guy one minute, then He's
answering prayers the next. But you have to give it a chance.The
first chapter is called "Genesis," named after the rock group with the
same name (the author was a huge Phil Collins fan). Then comes
"Exodus," and in no time we have plagues, sacrifices, miracles, and
holy wars all over the place. There's so much blood, gore, and sex,
that we're surprised that the thing hasn't been banned by one of those
moralistic groups that are always trying to ban something.